Lately: Alzheimer’s Memory Walk

Alongside a recent blog comment telling me I was a twee idiot and to stand up straight (apparently I’m not 6 years old), I’ve had a few people ask about my dad so I thought a catch up blog post was overdue. And that earlier comment? People are strange, ey? Also, before I start, check out Polly photobombing my photo above. She’s my little weirdo.

So, where to begin? Since dad’s diagnosis back in March we’ve all been plodding along. The initial news, although upsetting, was something we kind of already knew. Nevertheless, it stung quite a bit. Alzheimer’s and I aren’t the best of buddies.

My sister and I had been worrying about dad’s memory and ability to converse for a while, but we weren’t sure whether it was linked to his prostate cancer so we voiced our concerns to our mum, and hoped they’d talk to the doctors.
I think they were both going through so much, including mum’s depression, that another trip to his GP was just too much. I can’t blame him really, can you?

During that time I learnt that my folks wanted to do things their own way, which was (and is) really hard to deal with. They are being quietly brave and courageous and just getting through the everyday. Mum’s illness means she doesn’t really want to socialise and they’ve found themselves in their own bubble, only making plans when my sister or I arrange to meet. We realise how important it is for both of them to see us and get out and about, so we’ll continue to try, even when mum doesn’t answer our messages/is watching EastEnders. It’s all a bit strange really but we’re learning to deal with it.

During this time, my sister has been a rock. She even let me have a stress-free holiday in Australia (when she found out) before telling me the crummy news. She’s been great at organising the practical things that needed our attention but I think I can speak for us both that we’ve both been feeling pretty redundant, as have our other siblings.

My initial response to dad’s diagnosis, after the tears and swearing like a sailor, was to find ways to help mum and dad get through the initial stages. I didn’t want to focus on what would eventually happen because that’s all a bit horrible and upsetting. Instead I watched all the programmes, read all the articles I could muster, and drank all the gin. Dad’s now on medication to improve his alertness but he’s  had to give up work and isn’t allowed to drive. Those changes are a big enough of an adjustment and lifestyle change in itself. He’s still trying to understand it all and often gets frustrated and upset with the situation and conversations he clearly doesn’t understand. And sometimes, he’s so quiet as if everything going on around him is just too much. This is the hardest for me. Who wants to see their dad struggle? Especially someone who is ordinarily very happy-go-lucky. Not me.

Anyway, (I’m aware this is all very miserable!), in an effort to do something positive (and be surrounded by people who are in the same situation) we decided to do the Alzheimer’s Society Memory Walk in Leeds on Saturday 24th September. It feels good to be doing something productive, raising much needed pennies for the charity and hopefully it will help us understand our situation a little more. I’m doing it alongside my sisters and niece at Temple Newsam in Leeds – let’s hope for nice weather!

If you’d like to make a donation, we’d be forever thankful (payment in tea and biscuits?). Seriously though, I’ve been so touched by people’s donations already. Thank you so much. You can donate directly to our Just Giving page here and I’ll be on Instagram Stories throughout the day no doubt.

Thanks for reading folks, here’s to a world without dementia!